


As long as we're together, there's no place I'd rather be.

by marypapercut



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-19 12:30:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1469890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marypapercut/pseuds/marypapercut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people say they're born the way they're destined to be.</p>
<p>And some say it's the result of how you're being raised.</p>
<p>The problem was that Harry Styles had the best, the most normal parents anyone could have asked for. Growing up he was a happy kid. They were the perfect picture family.</p>
<p>Harry was a teenager when he knew he wasn't like his family. He knew that he wouldn't grow up to be like them.</p>
<p>Sometimes he wonders if he just ignored that warm feeling that circulated through his veins when he looked at him, he could have turned out just like them.</p>
<p>Normal.</p>
<p>(or high school AU where Harry and Louis are in love with each other but don't know about it and battle with the homophobic community at the same time)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you'll like it! 
> 
> Btw, a comment wouldn't hurt just so you know
> 
> Enjoy x

Harry looked around as he entered a foreign room. It wasn't big nor small for a classroom in a primary school for kids of the age of 6. It wasn't that he was scared (well a little), it was just a new surrounding so he was more nervous other than scared. For a little kid moving to a new city was a big deal. He had to leave all of his friends (it wasn't that he had many of 'em, but whatever), and it frightened him that he may not find any new ones here in the primary school of Doncaster.

"Everyone, can I please have your attention!" The teacher that held Harry's small and delicate hand, shouted to the young students.

Harry pushed Monkey (his beloved plush toy, which he carried everywhere), closer to his chest as everyone's attention was now focused on him.

"Kids, this is Harry!" The teacher said happily to the class "He's new here, so everyone say hi to your new classmate!"

Everyone muttered a small 'hi' to Harry as they continued to stare at the shy boy.

"Do you want to tell us something about yourself Harry?" The teacher asked the young boy as she looked down at him.

Harry quickly shook his head to the teacher. He didn't see the need to tell anything about himself. If anyone wants to know, they will ask. But he wasn't so sure that anyone will want to know.

"Okay then. Go sit next to Louis there" The teacher said as she lightly pushed Harry forwards while pointing out the direction where he needs to go.

The teacher was pointing at a boy with brown hair and blue eyes. He was laughing while talking to some other kids, and Harry found it rude to intervene but the teacher told him so.

Harry slowly walked towards the boy while he still held his Monkey against his chest.

"H-Hello" Harry stuttered as he finally stood in front of Louis.

Louis' head quickly spun around to look at Harry. A smile appeared on Louis' face.

"Hi! My name's Louis! What's yours?" He asked happily.

Harry found it odd that the boy asked him for his name while he had been presented to the class just a minute ago. But he guessed that the blue eyed boy didn't pay any attention.

"My name's Harry" He said "Nice to meet you Louis" Harry said while stretching out his hand, just like how his mother told him to do in case he met somebody.

Louis rose his eyebrows while he stared at Harry's hand.

"You're weird" He muttered.

 Harry's eyes widened. Great, now he'll be the weirdo of the class.

"I like you!" Louis suddenly said with a smile on his face as he shook Harry's hand.

Harry let out a breath of relief as he sat down besides Louis.

"The teacher told me to sit besides you" He said while looking at the boy sitting besides him.

"Okay" Louis said as he nodded "What's that?" He asked as his gaze shifted to Harry's plush toy.

"That's Monkey" Harry said as he looked at his toy.

"You bring a toy with you to school?" Louis said surprised as he continued to stare at Harry's plush toy "I wanted to bring Tommy with me too, but my older sister said that the other kids will laugh at me" Louis muttered "Can I hold it!" Louis asked with a big, bright smile on his face.

Harry nodded as he gave Monkey to Louis. Harry stared at Louis as he examined Monkey, looking at it as if it was some scientific evidence.

"I like it!" Louis said as he gave Monkey back to Harry "So Harry, do you want be friends?" He asked with a warm smile on his face.

"Really?" Harry asked Louis as he stared at him in surprise.

"Yeah, you seem like a funny lad!" Louis said as he grinned at Harry "So, do you wanna be friends with me?" Louis asked again.

 

So that's how Louis and Harry became friends. Since that day they've been inseparable. They were, like how their's mothers sometimes called them, like a pot and a lid. They were always together.

They hung out every day, but when they weren't able to, then they talked over the phone, the conversations would last for hours. At age 10, when they got their first cell phones, they immediately exchanged their phone numbers and sent tons of messages to each other.

Being 12 years old wasn't a big age but it was the age when you get to realize your feelings and get confused about them, which was Harry's case.

 

*******

 

 "What do you wanna do now?" Harry asked Louis, Hanna and Jessica as they got of their bikes and sat on the grass in front Louis' house.

"I don't know... wanna play house?" Hanna asked as she looked at her friends "How about Louis and I be the parents and you and Jess can be the kids?" Hanna said with a smile, already deciding in her mind that they were going to play that game.

Hanna liked to be the boss.

Harry shrugged with his shoulders. He was honestly bored with that game, they played it almost everytime theu hung out. But as Harry got an idea, a smile spread out on his face.

"Hey, I've got an idea!" Harry said as everyone looked at him "How about Louis and I play your fathers? I mean, we always play the same so I thought maybe we could change it a little bit" Harry muttered as he could see Hanna and Jessica stare at him in shock.

"That's really weird" Jessica commented as she continued to stare at Harry.

"N-No, it'll be fun"

"No, that's really disgusting" Hanna said in disgust "What are you, some kinda fag?"

"No, I'm not!" Harry said offended.

"Are too!" Hanna said as she continued to stare at Harry in disgust "C'mon Jess" Hanna said to Jessica as she stood up, pulling her friend with her "I'm telling everyone that you're a disgusting fag!" She said while glaring at Harry as the two girls walked away.

Louis sighed as he sat besides Harry, putting his arm around his shoulder.

"Screw them, I didn't even want to hang out with them" Louis said with a warm smile on his face "C'mon Hazza, we'll play fathers with fake kids, I think my sister still has her old dolls" Louis said as he winked at Harry.

A grin spread out on Harry's face as he nodded to Louis and stood up, going with Louis into his house, Louis' arm still around Harry's shoulder (he could feel it go lower and lower but to be honest, he didn't mind it even a little bit). He was so happy to be blessed with such a great friend.

 

After that, Harry tried really hard to act normal.

He was expecting nasty rumors about him being gay from Hanna and Jessica but no new gossips came.

After two weeks Harry found out that both Hanna and Jessica moved out Doncaster. Hanna to America and Jessica to Europe. He had no idea why, but he was thankful to God that they did.

He didn't know what he would do if Hanna would spread out gossips about him "being gay". He wasn't gay.

_Am I?_

 

*******

 

The first time Harry thought with certainty that he was gay was at the beginning of high school.

He noticed how his boy classmates where more interested in football, basketball, hockey and other manly sports while Harry just liked to draw doodles on the last pages of his notebooks.

Harry was never like his boys classmates. He would never say which chick he 'shaged' (because he didn't even want to) and Harry never really had a girl for which he could say 'wow, I really do like her'. He found staring stealthily at his bare chested classmates while being in the boys locker room far more alluring.

But those that like the same sex had the characteristics. And oh did people notice those characteristics on Harry. So people gossiped, and in Doncaster gossips travel fast. In Doncaster homosexuality was _not_ acceptable.

Harry would notice the odd stares that he would get while walking down the street and the glares on people's faces while 'fag' could be heard being said under their breath.

Harry was afraid that his parents will hear those 'rumors' too. It wasn't like his parents were homophobes. Well at least he thinks so. He knows his mother would reconcile with him being gay after some time, but his father? Harry had a feeling like he would hate him if he found out. He would probably dismiss him as his son.

Harry even once asked his mother if he was gay. He thinks it was after Hanna called him a fag. His mother just laughed at him, telling him that he liked girls even before kindergarten.

But now Harry didn't think that he was gay. He knew he was gay. The warm feeling in his chest while being around Louis assured him so. And also the erection he once got when he saw how fit Louis got in Summer camp.

It wasn't like he chose to be like this. He didn't chose to get mocked and beaten up. He didn't chose to fall in love with his best friend. If he had a chance to pick to either stay gay or to be straight, he would pick straight, because honestly he's bored of all the mockings through these 4 years of high school.

He hates being known as 'the gay kid'. He loathes it.

But if Harry had to choose between being beaten up or being friends with Louis ("You hang out too much with him") he wouldn't even think for a second. It will always be Louis. Sadly, only as a friend. Harry doesn't have the guts to tell Louis that he's even gay, let alone tell him about his feelings for him.

But the weird thing is, that they always insult Harry about being gay and never Louis. People never called him a fag for hanging out with Harry ("I wouldn't stop hanging out with you even if they did. I would be a dick if I did so"). It always amazed Harry.

Two best friends, one of the friends falls in love with the other; the cliche high school story, innit?

Well, the cliche high school stories don't usually include homosexuality so...

But deep down, Harry hoped that it would be like one of those stories, because they always end up with a happy ending.

And Harry was a sucker for happy endings.

 


	2. Freedom Of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and enjoy x

Harry walked down the school's hallway, looking for the first bathroom that will come in his way.

It was the first week of high school and Harry was a senior now.

He had a nice Summer. Even if he spent the most of it without Louis, it was nice. He would have preferred it more if they had spent the whole Summer together, in their tree house that they had built together, all alone, without anybody's help (pinky swear), when they were just 13.

But Louis had to visit his grandma in America and Harry went to Summer camp.

And did having Louis go to America come out as a good thing.

When Harry saw Louis just 3 weeks ago when he came back from Summer camp - he won't lie- he felt like he saw a tanned God.

In those 2 and a half months, Louis' hair grew, a little beard as well but he shaved it later even to Harry's protests not to ("I don't want to either Haz, but me mom says that it reminds her of me growing up too quickly and leaving her. And then she starts crying")

And Harry swears, Louis' skin looked like it was made out of gold. He was so tanned it made Harry whimper. And don't get Harry to even start talking about the biceps.

And Harry didn't masturbate at night while imagining Louis lifting some weights while looking all sweaty. Nope, he absolutely didn't.

Harry's Summer was fun too (as much as it can be without Louis). He met a lot of other kids who said he'll keep in touch but didn't because Louis' biceps were all that occupied his mind and not the thought 'call Lucy Gold or Angie Blake from Summer camp'.

But one event did seal that Summer.

On every Friday there is like a party held in the main gym. The parties are lame but, let's be honest, it's the only way they get to drink some alcohol (by mixing it into some drinks while the supervisors aren't looking).

And on one party it happened. Harry had no idea how the guy knew Harry was into boys but somehow he did. No, it wasn't that he got beaten up.

Harry was dancing the whole night, mostly with girls, and then, just all of a sudden, Nathan, a guy from the cabin next to his, was grinding against him. At first, Harry had no idea what to do. He didn't know if people there were as unacceptable towards homosexuality as they are in Doncaster. But as Nathan assured him that it's okay (Harry has no idea how, to be honest), they just continued dancing. And nobody seemed to mind. Harry even saw some other guys and girls dance in a more-than-a-friendly way as well.

But when he found Nathan leaning in for a kiss, he then realized what was happening. And Harry won't lie - he was leaning in as well.

But when a picture of Louis appeared in his head, he pulled away and walked fastly away, going to his cabin.

He wanted Louis to be his first kiss. Louis and no one else.

Harry had luck that that party was a goodbye party and he didn't have to see Nathan and have that awkward talk about something that he even has no idea how to call it.

As Harry finally found a bathroom, he walked in, seeing that no one was there. He zipped open his pants and did the stuff that you do in a bathroom.

After a few seconds, Harry could hear the bathroom door being open and he didn't turn around because people come in here all the time, especially during classes.

 _It's a school's bathroom for Haven's sake_ , Harry thought.

Harry could feel someone stand besides him but he didn't look aside because that would be quite inappropriate. He may be gay, but not that kind of gay to stare at other people's cocks while they're taking a piss.

"You wanna look at my dick, don't you, you fag" Harry could hear a voice say that he knew very well.

 _Shit!_ , Harry thought in panic as he quickly zipped his pants.

He tried to walk away but a push into his shoulder made him stumble backwards. 

Harry looked up, his eyes coming into contact with Ian Walker's - Harry's bully since the beginning of high school.

Harry shot Ian a cold look as he stood straight, trying to show Ian that he's not influencing him. It's something that his sister told him to do.

"Just leave me alone Ian"

"Oh look guys, the little fag wants me to leave him alone" Ian said to his friends mockingly, that stood besides the bathroom door, snickering.

Huh, Harry didn't even notice them there.

"Didn't say that to my cousin this Summer, did you" Ian said with a glare.

"What?" Harry said confused. What cousin?

"Nathan. Summer camp, Nathan Anderson. Ring a bell faggot?"

Harry's eyes widened as he stared at Ian who was smirking at him evilly.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ , Harry panicked.

"You know I felt like vomiting after he told me what happened in Summer camp. I told him to drink bleach. To kill all the bacteria he got from you while you were pushing your tongue down his throat. And also to kill himself. I won't have a fucking queer as a cousin" Ian said with hate in his voice, eyes and heart.

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. How can he tell his own cousin to kill himself? He was praying to God that Nathan didn't listen to him.

"I did not kiss him!" Harry defended himself "He wanted to kiss me, but I walked away"

"So you do admit being a fag?" Ian said with a glare.

Harry didn't know if he should deny it because Ian will still believe in his own words. He kept quite as he looked aside.

"I knew it! I knew you were a fucking fag" Ian said as he laughed in irony.

"So what if I am?" Harry said, now kind of pissed off "What the fuck does that have to do with you? It's not like I would suck your dick!"

Harry had no idea what came over him. Maybe it was that Ian told his own cousin to kill himself, or that Harry had it enough of Ian bullying him for all these years. Or maybe it was all of it together.

 _Or_ maybe it was that he was irritated that he woke up hard this morning after having a dirty dream about Louis and didn't have time to get rid of his boner because he was running late to school. So he had to walk through the whole house, with his cock being hard, hoping that his mother and sister won't notice. And the people on the street too. But thank God it came down in the middle of the walk towards school.

And now he knew he was in deep shit because of his sudden boost of confidence.

"What did you just say" Ian hissed with clenched fists while walking closer to Harry.

"I-I-" Harry stuttered with widened eyes as he looked aside to see Ian's friends in shock as well, their eyes saying 'that fag's in deep shit'.

Before Harry could find any words, Ian's hand connecting to his face stopped him.

"You fucking faggot!" Ian yelled to Harry as he punched him into his stomach, making Harry fall down on the floor while Ian's friends laughed.

Harry gasped as he could feel all the air being sucked out of him by the punch. He layed down on the floor, wiping off the blood from his face from the following punches.

Before another punch, the doors of the bathroom could be heard pushed open and Mr. Hobs, the principle, walked in.

"Ian, what are you doing in the bathroom! C'mon, all of you get back to class! Get going!" Mr. Hobs yelled at Ian and his friends.

After Ian and his friends walked out, Harry slowly stood up while groaning, blood still dripping down his nose and being visible on his lips.

"Harry, over here" Mr. Hobs said seriously as he called for Harry to come in front of him.

Harry moved slowly, feeling every inch of his body hurting by every step he took.

"You know Harry, this school has zero tolerance policy for this kinda behavior here. I will not allow this behavior in my school! Homosexuality" the principle muttered in disgust "Do your... business wherever you want, but not in my school. I should really call both of your parents but I'll let this punishment be enough"

Harry felt like yelling at the principal. 

He didn't fucking do anything! Ian should be the one standing here, being yelled at and told that _his_ parents should be called, _not_ Harry's. And he didn't even get detention! Ian was the one who punched Harry because he doesn't believe in freedom of love, Harry didn't even fight back!

Oh yeah, now Harry remembers. He's in a homophobic school, with homophobic students, with homophobic employees, in a fucking homophobic town called Doncaster.

"Thank you sir" Harry muttered through gritted teeth. 

"This is just a phase you're going through. You'll grow out of it" Mr. Hobs said.

"Yes sir..." Harry again muttered.

"You know Harry, maybe if you got yourself a girlfriend, pretended to be straight, all this teasing would stop. Now finish cleaning yourself up and go back to class" Mr. Hobs said seriously, not a single trace of sympathy on his face, as he walked out of the bathroom, leaving Harry behind alone.

 

Harry really did hope it was just a phase like Mr. Hobs said.

But then he remembered how strong Louis' hand felt and what the thought of kissing him did to him and Harry knew it wasn't a phase. And he hated himself for it.


	3. Blue Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy x

It was highly irregular to have a clear blue sky in the middle of December, but today was one of those irregular days.

Even though Harry had a lot of school work to do, just one of Louis' persuasion did the trick and here they are; lying on the soft, bright, green grass, Harry's head on Louis' chest while they stared at the clear blue sky that Harry sometimes in the summer months replaced with the clear blue lake that was situated just a few meters away.

"Lou?" Harry whispered as he awaited for the other boy to speak.

"Hmm?" Louis muttered, making it clear that he's awake.

The cosy, soft grass could be easily misplaced with a bed, and Harry's head with its curls covering it, could be seen as a blanket, smelling after apples.

"Can I tell you something?" Harry whispered again.

He honestly had no idea why he was whispering. They were all alone, nothing with a heartbeat was near them so nobody could hear him even if he was yelling. But he guessed he was whispering because the theme was private. Very private.

Harry thought if he should tell Louis about his sexuality for months. He hadn't even told his parents about it. But honestly, Louis was like his family. Well no, it would be quite wrong being in love with your brother. But after months of thoroughly thinking, bickering with himself if this was a smart thing to do or the most idiotic thing ever, he came to the conclusion that it had to be done. He'll leave out just a small part about how madly in love he's been with Louis since he, like, knew what love - no, actually, even before he knew what love is.

Yeah, just a small part...

"Sure mate, I'm listening" Louis muttered as he closed his eyes again, continuing to play with Harry's curls.

Harry took a deep breath as he could feel his heart beating fast.

"I'm gay" he blurted out.

Harry was surprised with how easier it was then it seemed. He thought he was going to stutter, or get the words trapped in is throat or even pass out. But it actually went great. Too great when he thinks about it.

 _This isn't right_ , Harry thought suspiciously, _it can't go this easily._

Just then did he notice the quietness floating around in the air. Only the sound of the birds chirping surrounded them.

"Louis?" Harry now said in a normal tone.

But no one was responding.

Harry lifted his head from Louis' chest and relied on his elbows as he looked at Louis, to see a blank look on his face. Okay, now he was scared. He had no idea if it was a 'get the fuck away from me freak' blank look, or a 'okay, I can live with that' blank look.

Personally, Harry hoped it was the second one.

"L-Lou?" Harry asked scared as the other boy still layed down on the ground, not moving an inch and looking like a living statue.

Harry now sat normally, not relying on his elbows anymore as he thought if he should run away. But a smile that stretched on Louis' face made Harry stay.

"Okay" Louis whispered as he looked at Harry with a smile on his face.

"Okay?" Harry repeated in a form of a question.

"Okay" Louis said in a normal tone.

"So, you don't mind? Me being... you know... gay?" Harry asked with raised eyebrows.

"Harry, I don't give a damn in which hole you stick your dick in. In the front or in the back - fuck, now I'm having pictures in my head" Louis said as he grimaced.

Harry could feel tingles go through his stomach as he hoped that it was Louis himself that he saw Harry with.

"Anyways, love is love, whichever gender you love, it's okay. I fully support it, just so you know" Louis said with a smile.

"Thanks mate" Harry said as he grinned and then laughed as Louis embraced him in a big hug, making them both fall onto the grass.

 

*******

 

Louis really had no idea how to act.

Usually he would hug Harry till he couldn't breath or wake up with him in the morning, their legs tangled together. But now it just felt awkward.

It wasn't that he felt disgusted by Harry; no he wasn't one of those homophobic arses, as he said to Harry, he was fully supportive about Harry's sexual orientation. But it was just... yeah.

Louis felt like in a movie; two homosexuals, one has feelings for the other one and doesn't want to tell him. It's so cliche that it makes Louis want to vomit (Louis' always the one fussing about when they watch movies together. And Harry's the one with a love for cliche love movies. It's annoying to Louis, but he wouldn't change a thing)

He was scared that if he told Harry that he was gay as well and had feelings for him, that Harry would run away and would never look back. He would probably unacknowledged his existence every time he would see him in school.

It wasn't that Louis thought Harry would hate him for being gay; how could he, he's gay himself. The part he feared about was that Harry would leave him because he would have no feelings to give in return. And that scared him very much.

Harry started to notice how Louis was pushing him away slowly. He noticed the walls that he was starting to build.

Even though Harry asked Louis more than 15 times if everything was alright between them and Louis said that it is ("Yeah, everything's great, why wouldn't it be?"). By every new answer, Harry believed him less.

Shit, he knew he shouldn't have told him. _Shit, shit, shit_ , Harry thought in panic.

Why the fuck did he have to ruin the great friendship as the one they had?

Why the fuck was he so stupid?

 


	4. New Year's Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few comments would be a nice gesture, don't you think?
> 
> Enjoy x

Harry took a sip from a bottle of beer that was in his hand while he sat on the swing, Louis besides him, on a swing as well and a bottle of beer in his hand too.

It was New Year's Eve and it was just 10 minutes till midnight.

They originally went to a party with their other friends (Niall, Liam and Zayn) but then snuck away, finding swinging on the swings in a kid's park with alcohol in their hands far more attractive.

"12 years" Louis suddenly blurted out after taking a sip from the bottle.

"Wha' ?" Harry muttered as he looked at his best friend.

"12 years" Louis repeated as he now looked at Harry who was already looking at him "It's been 12 years since we've known each other. 12 years of being mates" he said with a smile on his face.

Harry smiled as he realized that Louis was right "Yeah" he let out a breath "Wow, time travels fast, doesn't it?" he said as he took a sip of the alcohol.

"Yeah" Louis muttered "But it were the best 12 years of my life" he said as he again glanced at his curly haired friend, a smile playing along his lips "You were, like, the best thing that ever happened in my life Hazza"

Okay, just to make it clear, he's drunk. Which means he's talking from his heart... 

Fuck...

Harry's face softened as he stared at Louis. Was Louis reading his mind right now?

"Likewise Lou, likewise" Harry whispered with a smile on his face as he took the last sip from the bottle, throwing it then aside as he realized that it was empty "Shit. Do we have any more alcohol?" he asked as he looked around, looking for any kind of a drink with alcohol in it.

Louis looked around too, looking for the same thing as Harry "Nope, don't think so mate"

"Why the hell didn't we bring any more drinks with us" Harry said annoyed as he stood up from the swing.

Louis shrugged with his shoulders "Didn't really think about it at that moment and I was drunk and still am" he said as he laughed.

Harry joined him as they laughed together.

Yellings and counting could be heard from near by, and they both knew 2012 was just seconds away.

"Happy New Year!" could be heard by a female voice, screaming, from near by.

Louis and Harry looked at each other as they smiled to one another, crushing into an embrace.

"Happy New Year Lou" Harry muttered into Louis' hair.

"Happy New Year Hazza" Louis muttered into Harry's shoulder.

They stayed like that for another minute, in a tight embrace, the sound of fireworks and cheerful yellings surrounding them. After a minute they pulled away, looking into each other's eyes.

Harry stared into Louis' blue eyes as he couldn't believe how lucky he got to fall in love with such a beautiful guy. He couldn't believe he fell in love with that messy hair; that messy hair that seems almost the same as when he wakes up in the morning besides Harry and same at the end of the day, when they lay in the bed together. He couldn't believe he fell in love with those little crinkles that fanned from the corner of Louis' eyes when he smiles so brightly, it makes Harry think he's looking at the sun. He couldn't believe he fell in love with those beautiful blue eyes that twinkle like the night sky in Summer.

And Louis couldn't believe how Harry's laugh sends tingles through his body and gives him a certain high.

"Lou?" Harry whispered as he kept his hands on Louis' hip bones.

"Yeah?" Louis muttered back while he held his hands on Harry's shoulders.

"Can I tell you something?" Harry whispered back.

Louis nodded as he stared into Harry's emerald eyes. Usually he would joke on how this felt like a déjà vu, but he was too drunk and fully mesmerized by Harry's eyes to even care.

"I..." Harry began to speak, but Louis' eyes staring into his own, seeming like he's sucking out his soul, made him forget what he was about to say. And the liquor was a big help too.

"What?" Louis muttered as he moved closer to Harry, not allowing his eyes to move even for a millimeter "What were you about to say?"

"I... I don't know..." Harry answered Louis' question honestly as his eyes now moved to Louis' lips. They look so thin but full at the same time. And so tempting...

Louis smirked as he noticed Harry staring at his lips "You wanna kiss me, don't you"

Harry's eyes widened as he stood startled "Wha- what?" he stuttered "No- no. What are you talking abo-"

"You can if you want to, you know" Louis said quietly as he bit his lip.

Harry blinked as he stared at Louis, thinking what he should say. So many questions ran around in his mind, so many questions which would probably be helpful in this situation, but of course the question that came out of his mouth was "What?"

Louis rolled his eyes, being slightly annoyed because he really wanted to kiss Harry and he was just making all this difficult.

"You must be deaf" he said as he chuckled "I said that you can kiss me if you want. I noticed the way you kept staring at my lips" Louis smirked as he noticed how Harry blushed, looking so innocent which only made Louis want him more.

Lately Harry's been growing into such a beautiful young man, so it's nice to remember the days when everything was easy and simple.

"I won't mind if that's what's stopping you. And I won't even probably remember it tomorrow 'cause I'm drunk as fuck so"

Okay, on one side Louis being drunk was a good thing. It won't be awkward between them like it was for those 2 awful weeks after Harry told Louis he's gay.

But at the same time, Harry would like for Louis to remember their first kiss. Harry's first kiss.

So it's basically a double edged sword.

Louis let out an annoyed sigh as he could see that Harry was bickering with himself in his mind. He saw that face almost everyday and it was quite easy to recognize it - biting his lip while looking up at the sky, plus rocking his body from left to right.

As Louis had enough, he took actions in his own hands. And by that he means he smashed his lips against Harry's.

Harry's eyes widened as he could feel Louis' thin lips against his and the taste of vodka could be felt on them.

Okay, he was not expecting this.

After a few seconds Harry kissed back, letting his body muscles relax.

Okay, he won't sugar coat it; the kiss was sloppy. But at the same time, it was perfect. They were drunk and the only thing they cared about was to get a taste of each other, not making the kiss seem like it came directly from The Notebook. Harry wouldn't change a bit if he had a chance to. For him, this kiss was perfect.

The way Louis' tongue battled with his, and the way Louis would sometimes for a few seconds move to his neck, leaving small kisses there, fully satisfying Harry. The way Louis' lips felt against his, just like they were made to fit so perfectly.

And let's not talk about the butterflies Harry was having in his stomach right now.

Or the bulge in his pants...

For Louis it was the same. He felt like he was flying. Harry's full lips against his thin ones felt like a perfect match. Their lips moved in a perfect sync. Louis didn't know if it was the alcohol that it made seem better or if Harry was an incredible kisser. He thinks it's a little bit of both.

Just as Louis wanted to attack Harry's neck again, they could hear someone shout their names. And it was closer than 'near by'. They quickly pulled away, looking around in panic, hoping that nobody saw them.

"Oi!" Niall shouted to both of them as he paced towards them "Where the fuck have you two been, we've been looking all over for you two!"

"We?" Harry said with his now red lips.

Both Harry and Louis hoped that Niall was too drunk to notice how both of their lips were swollen and red, and their cheeks matching the color of Niall's red shirt.

The Irish lad probably noticed but didn't give a fuck.

"Yeah, Liam, Zayn and I. One minute you were there at Stacy's party and then - puff - you were gone! We thought you ended up in some pit or something. We called your cell phones but you didn't answer. Obviously. We got worried sick mate!"

Both Louis and Harry laughed.

"Yeah, ha-ha" Niall said as he rolled his eyes "Missed Natalie taking off her bra in front of everyone and some chicks having a fight because I was looking for you two losers!"

Harry and Louis quieted down their laughs as they just giggled now.

"Now move you two. Liam and Zayn are already waiting for us at that club Cheetah. So move your lazy butts and get moving. The club's already full, we need to catch some good seats near the bar. Oh, and Happy New Year lads" Niall said as he started moving, leaving Louis an Harry to follow him.

Oh happy it was indeed.

Harry bit his lip as he could feel Louis' hand brush against his own as they walked. A grin spread on his face as Louis grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers together.

Harry felt like screaming from all the happiness that was buzzing in his body. And even if he did, it would just blend in with the rest of the noises of the night of the New Year's Eve.


	5. Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know on which day Harry's birthday was in 2012 so don't judge if I got it wrong.
> 
> A comment won't hurt lovelies :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy it x

He was ignoring it. He was was totally, hundred percent ignoring it.

Louis was pretending like nothing happened that night and it was driving Harry insane.

You can not just pretend that they haven't kissed that night! You can not just pretend like nothing happened. Harry knows that alcohol can blur your memories but it can't make you forget _that_. Louis drank approximately as much as Harry did and Harry can clearly remember and still feel Louis' lips on his. A kiss is not something you just forget. Not even the alcohol can make you.

And Louis was clearly pretending not to remember anything.

Harry wanted to talk about it, but him being the pussy that he is, didn't. It was really stressful to be honest.

Of course it was a huge thing for Harry. Louis was his first kiss (he knows that having a first kiss at age of 18 is disgraceful, no need to rub it in, thank you). But of course for Louis it wasn't a big thing. Harry wasn't Louis' first smooch.

Louis kissed many people, many times before Harry. He even had _girlfriends_ before.

So Harry has no idea what Louis' sexual orientation is. Bisexual? Pan? Straight and the kiss was just a moment of curiosity? 

Louis had 3 girlfriends through these 4 years of high school. There was Samantha, a tall petite girl with blond hair and brown eyes, then there was Rachel, just Louis' height with brown hair and green eyes, and then Susan came, a girl with a waist to die for, with black hair and blue eyes. As much as Harry wanted to hate them, he couldn't. They all were lovely and nice girls with an personality which made them unable to be hated. But sadly (luckily if you ask Harry) those relationships didn't last long. For a few months maybe. And always the main reason for the break up - Harry.

No, Harry didn't sabotage Louis' relationships (even though he has neatly detailed written plans still lying under his bed). The reason was that the girls thought that Louis hung out too much with Harry. Rachel even thought that Harry was his secret lover (Harry wished). And as soon as they gave Louis an ultimatum - bam, the relationship was over.

Louis didn't know why he would rather give up on a relationship with a girl he liked, maybe could even have a future with. But he could _not_ imagine a future without Harry. Whenever Louis thought about his future, Harry was always somewhere there in the background, with that goofy smile of his.

Now Harry would be okay if Louis kissed him just then (with time and a lot of bottles of many types of alcohol). But on every party when they get drunk Louis kisses him or gives him a blowjob or a hand-job and vice versa. Again and again, always in some corner where nobody can see them.

For example: the boys throw Harry a surprise birthday party on Sunday. Louis gives the birthday boy a blowjob as his present (together with the two Leeds tickets for both of them to go later in the fall). Tomorrow at school Louis' like nothing happened.

A rich girl from school throws a party on Friday. They kiss. On Monday it's like nothing happened.

Perrie Edwards (Zayn's hook up) throws a party on Friday. They give hand jobs to each other. Louis ignores it, again.

Niall invites them to a party in some high classed club with some shitty french name that neither of them can pronounce. They get in, thanks to Niall's brother Greg who works at the bar. They don't waste much money on the drinks thanks to Niall's brother. Louis and Harry hook up in the bathroom. Harry _almost_ blows Louis but doesn't thanks to some bloke who enters into the loo just as Harry was about to take off Louis' boxers. And again Louis pretends on Monday like nothing happened. Even their friends began looking at them weirdly.

The two of them go to the Leeds. Harry and Louis share a tent. Harry gives Louis a messy blowjob thanks to the lack of space in the tent but Louis says he loved it anyways and returned the favor. And guess what? Louis pretended like nothing fucking happened.

A week ago Harry finally had it enough after Louis fingered him and tomorrow spoke to him about thinking of getting a puppy. Every time he wants to mention one of their hook ups, Louis interrupts him with something ("Louis, can we talk about last nig-" "Oh look, is that a whale!") 

He just doesn't understand. If Louis doesn't like him in that way, why hook up with him like basically every week?

Harry's really stressed out.


End file.
